The “new normal” of business is being shaped in large by the global socio-political realities and, in reaction, internally there is a shifting business paradigm with the emphasis on culture and a prioritized value on employees’ experiences. This in turn calls for culture-based leadership that focuses on supporting equity, inclusiveness, work-life balance, remote and hybrid work choices, and creating an environment that addresses the needs of both the entire workforce and the individual employee. Just to name a few. Further, cultural transitions in the workplace don’t happen in a vacuum; they require active listening, authenticity, transparency, and collective effort. Leaders need to be ready to have and facilitate difficult conversations amongst themselves, with their employees, and with external stakeholders (i.e. customers or shareholders). What better time and reason to bring “rumbling” back to the workplace?
What is Rumbling?
The concept of rumbling was introduced in the book, Dare to Lead, by Brene Brown in 2018. To quote Brown, “A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and…to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard.” Further she says, "More than anything else, when someone says, “Let’s rumble,” it cues me to show up with an open heart and mind so we can serve the work and each other, not our egos."
Why do we need a term like rumbling? Why can’t we just say we’re going to have a difficult conversation? Language–especially shared and mutually understood language–is critical when trying to build a culture. Utilizing a word like rumble–once defined–means an agreement regarding how the participants will enter the conversation, creating a safe space to engage. It is a mutual understanding that the conversation may get messy. That some issues may be left unresolved for another day and another rumble is also a shared agreement.
Conversations that Rumbling Can Help Navigate
Rumbling can help navigate conversations that require open and honest discussion, which may take employees to messy and uncomfortable places and potentially cause friction. A large part of what makes difficult conversations so challenging is how individuals come to those conversations. Whether we know it or not, we all bring preconceived notions, fears, biases, and defensiveness into our daily interactions– our “human armor”–that manifests as an unwillingness to further listen and exchange ideas. Our armor often comes in the form of touting our own exemplary record (i.e. the flip side might be described as silencing others via bragging or false arrogance), sticking our feet in the mud regarding plausible deniability, and winding up with self-justifications. Even without the word “difficult,” in a statement, when many of us hear “we need to have a conversation,” it will raise hackles and set off warning bells.
There are endless examples of difficult conversations. The following are a few well-known scenarios and how rumbling can help to navigate them:
- The necessity of being welcoming and inclusive to an evolving, diverse employee base: Supporting real belonging, equity, and inclusion requires unexplored and evolving conversations. Societally, we don't like feeling or being seen as unprepared or ignorant. Then add to this: public discourse is becoming more polarized so discussing ideas and perspectives on personal and professional levels can feel that much more daunting. You never know when you might upset someone and then a complaint is made about you and your insensitivity. This has created a natural tension for company cultures. However, uniting around the decision to acknowledge and talk about these differences is how one develops empathy and understanding–which, in turn, is how companies get to true inclusion and belonging. And we know that companies who support inclusion and belonging have a strong chance at outperforming the market!
- Lean into and engage in conversations that can create intellectual friction: In the current global geopolitical climate, taking joy in a healthy debate at work (or in schools and beyond) seems to carry more severe consequences when the debate runs amok. Conversations around differences in ideas, perspectives, and beliefs are proving more and more difficult. Sharing ideas and challenging each other is crucial for growth as it is often where creativity and innovation happens.
There are arguably only two ways to approach differences in belief, perspective, and ideas in the workplace: to discourage discourse in order to avoid conflict; or to commit to complete openness of heart and mind, vulnerability, and prepare for it to get messy. In other words, to rumble is the way to success.
- The need to pivot in skills and job roles to adapt and keep the company growing: Employees often see their position and honed skills as part of their identity, and certainly their comfort zone, and suggesting a shift can be threateningly scary. Approaching this subject with smaller teams as a rumble can provide the opportunity to have a transparent discussion about the needs of the company and how an employee's willingness to shift gears and grow could benefit both them and the company. It will also allow the employee to express their concerns without fear of judgment and retribution, perhaps opening the door for compromise.
- Addressing the personal development and performance of specific employees:
Employee reviews–formal or informal–can feel intimidating. This creates differing perspectives, or feelings of embarrassment and shame even when the intention is to provide constructive feedback and to earnestly facilitate growth. Conducting performance review conversations in the rumble format gives permission to HR managers or team leaders to be more vulnerable and perhaps share personal stories of their own struggles. It also provides a safe space for the employee to shed their armor and actively listen to these efforts to help them to learn and grow.
Examples of Rumble Language and How to Use Them
Rumble language utilizes “I” versus “you” language–encouraging participants to talk about their own experience, not someone else’s. This helps to temper statements that may be perceived as judgment and avoid personal armor being raised. Some examples outlined by Brown are:
- “The story I make up” (or “the story I tell myself” e.g., how I interpret the feedback I am receiving; or having an all or nothing attitude regarding equity): Everyone has their own filter: our history, knowledge, and preconceived notions which we bring into our everyday experiences. When a rumble hits a point of contention that becomes a proverbial brick wall–different stories/perspectives all being made up at the same time– all parties can use this language to be accountable and allow for a reset. These stories can become a personal, level-setting, and relatable way to explain how everyone takes in information differently.
- “I'm curious about…”: Curiosity signals a willingness to learn and expand our understanding about the world around us. As a statement in a rumble, it would be the signal that someone wants to understand an opposing viewpoint and is ready to actively listen. For example, seeking to understand why an employee who doesn’t utilize self-scheduling or hybrid work options may take issue with those options. Perhaps because they only understand them as filling a need, and not creating opportunities for a better work-life balance for everyone.
- “Tell me more about…”: This is a request that demonstrates active listening to the speaker and expresses interest in more thoroughly understanding someone else’s experience and point of view.
- “That's not my experience…”: Opening a counterpoint with this statement takes the focus off questioning someone else’s experience. It is also an opportunity to explain the circumstances that have formed an opposing viewpoint. It is a way to set up a safe and respectful place to disagree and learn from one another.
- “I'm wondering…”: To wonder is a way to talk about and question a topic or disagreement with humility. The speaker doesn’t “know” or “think.” They aren’t certain, it’s a query; humility is a willingness to learn in real time.
- “Help me understand…”: This is a request for more information when someone is confused or unsure. And here offers the opportunity for a timely note: your tone when rumbling makes a difference. A person’s tone can affect the perception of what they are saying to the listener. Tone is the musical instrument that sets in our memories whether another person is kind or not.
- “Walk me through that…”: Similar to “help me understand,” but looking for more action-oriented detail, an actual example for context. This is an attempt to understand context and emotionally walk in the other person's shoes.
- “What's your passion around this…”: This is to help someone share why a specific area of a topic is their focus. They could be passionate about the universality of flexible hours, or formal training on microaggressions. They could feel that compliance standards for safety are not being properly followed or prohibitively stringent. Understanding where passion for a particular subject originates for individuals – do they have a personal story they want to share?-- can help ground the rumble in empathy and serve for better outcomes.
To learn how to rumble is a proactive measure to build a positive company culture. This is language easily learned before a conversation goes off the rails. Companies can also come up with and agree to their own similar language that may better serve their purposes, but these are an excellent starting point.
Company leaders best serve and succeed when they create a new normal that is aligned with how we are evolving globally. They can create a culture and great place to work that is truly “for all.” To do this, they need to be vulnerable, authentic, transparent, and prepared to engage in difficult, emotionally charged conversations. They need to be prepared to then pivot from how they “have always done things” into new norms. Bringing back–or introducing for the first time–rumbling may be one major key to accomplishing a sustainable, profitable enterprise.
